Yes! Long weekend! Reeeallly long...

Yesterday at work there was an all-staff meeting. I knew it wasn't going to be good--all-staff meetings never are. They're for chastisements or bad news, although I do faintly recollect going to an "atta-boys" meeting once.

I also knew that the organization was in bad financial shape. A few of our donors took ferocious financial hits--one guy losing more than 60% of his wealth--and had to back out of their pledged gifts. One guy took back a million dollars. Other donors had to cancel another million in combined gifts. The result was a $2 million shortfall. Heads had to roll.

Long story short, I was laid off with about a dozen other people. It was a double-whammy surprise because even though I suspected this might happen, I expected it to happen after the new year, and even after Christmas. It was also a surprise because during the president's Talk, he said every department but Development (my department) was effected. All through his explanation, while people began to weep, I thought "This is it. I'm the lowest one on the totem pole. They're definitely going to let me go." When they didn't, and he said that all the people being laid-off were notified already, I was surprised.

I was literally in the middle of an e-mail to my wife telling her that I'd dodged the bullet when I got the call. My supervisor (the guy who caused me so much grief over the past two years) called me in to the executive V.P.'s office, and they gave me the news. Here's a small severance. We'll pay you through January 9. Good luck.

They also stressed that the layoff had nothing to do with my performance, or lack thereof. I tend to believe them because among the unhappy crowd of the newly employed from my organization were some really good people. They were producers, part of the visible front of the organization (they were on TV a lot), and are some of the top people in the business of media and politics. In a way, I'm among an illustrious bunch. Heh.

I won't go into a bunch of crap about my "feelings" here, but suffice it to say that I'm still somewhat in shock. I guess that's what it is because I'm surprisingly optimistic. This is the crucible. I have a wife and son to care for, and our break-even every month is about $4,000. That's not because of extravagant living--that's rent and bills. We can shave some off of our grocery and baby clothing budget but not much.

I'm also optimistic because last week, and through the weekend, I finally sat down and planned out what I need to do to launch the moving business nationally. I can do it for relatively little start-up money, too. If I hadn't mapped that out, I might be freaking out right now, but since I've got a very do-able game-plan, I'm confident.

I have some choices to make, though. Should I focus all my energies on starting up MyTruckBuddy.com? Should I find a job RIGHT NOW? Should I pursue some of my other entrepreneurial ideas, such as freelance copywriting? For the next few days I'll consider all my options, but I have one over-arching desire--not to work for anybody ever again. Having to get another J.O.B. will be failure for me, but if it means providing for my family, I'll do it.

Like I said, this is a crucible. It's do-or-die time. I'm in no mood to die, so time to start doing.

Btw, any ideas, suggestions, comments or even criticisms are welcome. ;-)