Adventures in the moving business...

I'm really surprised that something like this hasn't happened yet, but on Saturday it finally did.

I was driving down the road with one of the guys who works for me occasionally, and I asked him how the job went earlier that morning. (I couldn't get to it, so I just contracted him to do it and kick me back $25.) A man of few words, he gave me the basic details:

"It was alright. Really easy. Tough corner at the bottom of the stairs."

Then we drove in silence for a minute, and I was about to make some inane comment about the weather, when he said, "A vibrator rolled out of the bed, though. And more rubbers than I've ever seen fell out from between the mattresses."

"Rubbers?" I thought.

I'd been riding with this guy for 30 minutes before he finally decided to let those details out.

"What?!?" I spluttered. "Did they know you saw them?"

Checking his iPhone while he spoke, he said, "I dunno. Maybe. I heard her say to her husband 'I think he saw...' but I didn't hear the rest."

Then, "It was a big one."

Then he made a phone call to his girlfriend and talked about a picnic they were going to.

I think "desensitized" may be an apt word to describe my latest moving buddy.

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I should also probably mention that one of my customers might be a gangster, or at least a big fan of The Sopranos. His name will be changed to protect my own butt, but it's a lot like "Fatty." He's an older dude, well-tanned despite his theoretical indoor job, well-wrinkled, and possessed of a short temper and attention span. He's got gold chains on his wrist and around his neck, and--get this--his cell phone's ring tone is the theme to "The Godfather."

I did not want to piss this guy off...